uselessmarks

gilligankane gets a double-shot... ;)


1. What is it about music that enraptures you?

Everything. Every single aspect - the way lyrics come out, the form of the words and the choices each person makes in what word to use... the sound of the words, the lilt of the voices - low to high, rough and soft... I'm in love with reverb, with the slide-guitar, with the crispness of one played note on the piano... Strings that catch your imagination and don't let go, the way a trumpet and/or saxophone can make you cry or make you wish for a lover... playing with where a song can start, where it can end - the unexpected swell of sound, the way some songs will just stop and not come back... And then, all of these seemingly separate things come together and paint a picture. Or they take you somewhere new - whether on this planet or in another world, another life. Or they bring up the past, they slip into your now, they weave the daydreams of every future you could ever have.
It has been my best friend and my muse and my sorrow and my greatest joy... and how could I not be enraptured?

2. If you had to choose between Neverneverland and home, which would you choose?

Always home. Those days of fantasy are long gone and I've found that reality is as wonderful... as terrible... as astoundingly wild as any make-believe.

3. What is the slogan of the last twelve months?

It'll get better with time. Don't worry, it will.

4. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Why?

The beach, right this second...lol. I love heat and I love the ocean even more than that. And winter is settling in now in NC, so if I could just pull up stakes and go south - I would.

5. Remember your mid-year resolutions? (Without having to tell people what they are) did you keep them all or did you break a few?

I do not remember them specifically, yet I remember making some. Hmmm. I'll venture a guess that I kept a few and broke a few, probably several times over. ;)

6. If you were a bird, what type of bird would you be?

Oh, a red-tailed hawk. That's been my animal totem for a while and, though not always the keeper of all my secrets... it is the one that has guided me through many perilous and glorious times.

7. Is there a common theme between your fandoms that draws you in? (Besides the ladies, that is.) And what is it?

To some degree, youth (South Of Nowhere and Utena)... but not enough of a theme. I suppose, sitting back and really looking at it... my belief in true love is the most common theme. I mean, I always take the angst-filled route to that end result - but it is the result I always long for (in my life, in my fandoms...lol) and look for in every show/film/book I have loved. That one couple that survives despite every odd - even if it means surviving each other on some level - but that love always wins out.

8. What is one of your biggest regrets?

I do not have many, to be honest. Maybe that was a resolution? To rid myself of regret... but there have been moments, little slips of time that I used to want to shift something awful - like loosening up when I was in high school and then I could have enjoyed it more.

9. Who is your guilty pleasure singer/band?

Anything blatantly Top 40 - like Britney Spears or Mandy Moore.

10. What do you think comes after death?

More life...lol. Or, if you've done the work, nirvana.

From the lovely aleriadeufania... :D


1) Who is your favorite Utena character, and why?

While I have some kind of love for all of them, Anthy is the one that I love the most. She is so... symbolic and broken and multi-faceted, like the most beautiful (and most feared) bird in the universe. She is gorgeous and, when I wrote so much SKU fanfiction, she was the star of many of my fics - because she is as much the heart of the show/film as Utena herself.


2) When did you have your most significant revelation in life?

I've had so many over the past three years...lol. But I will go with the most recent, because it is a huge one - it happened five days ago, down in Charlotte, after doing the first energy work I've done in a while. Really big stuff came out. And I am still riding this particular wave.


3) Out of all the relationships you've ever been in, is there one you would go back and change how it ended?

Hmmm. While I am a true believer in things happening the way they must happen... I might go back in time and have a clearer view of the last relationship I was in, so that the end of it wouldn't have been so... I don't know, so shocking and more inevitable.


4) What sort of relationship do you think Xena and Gabrielle have?

I think it is all things that all relationships can be - it is a friendship, it is sometimes like a teacher & student, it treads into the realm of soulmates and I think it treads into the realm of lovers. They are everything to one another. That's how I see them. :)


5) Out of everything you've written, what do you recommend that I read? ^_^

Hehe. Well, I guess I should recommend something in a fandom you might enjoy... but I've never thought my Xena stuff to be that good. But, go check out iconfanficxwp - most of it is mine. :)

Oh yea. I got that MP3 of Pomplamoose's Beat It. Because it is too awesome not to own and play over and over. And over. And over.


( where I talk Otalia and wonder... why? )


The gym membership is awesome. And kicking my ass just a little. But awesome.
Nothing but rain here.
Took some odd trips down memory lane today/tonight - not for the best, but I guess I needed to... or I wouldn't have done it in the first place.
Talked to one of my sisters. She is having a hard time lately and I hope to help her out some this Sunday.
Had some weird text chat with Tori.
Heard from Mr. Davis and we had a chuckle. Or two.

It's like I am talking about my entire day all of a sudden. Time to move on.


( building and building )

talkingdonkey has graced me with wonderful questions...



1. What is the difference for you when you write a poem and when you write a story?

I cannot write a personal story, not really. There might be shades of me in a story - but... not really. Whereas, with poetry, it is all about me - good, bad and otherwise. And I cannot write an impersonal poem. That would be the biggest difference to me.
Not sure why it turned out that way, because I think it would be a good thing if I could reverse that for a while [lol].


2. You've been following a treasure map and finally get to the end of the map and find a door. Behind the door lies your treasure. What is your treasure?

Wow. I am hesitant to answer this, because... what if that happens and I forget something integral?
But let's say that the universe covers the smaller details and I am finding the treasure of 'big' things. In that case, behind the door would be a woman who loves me (in the romantic sense) honestly and a world-changing career in music.


3. What do you do if you have writer's block?

Years ago, I would - literally - flip out. I'd pull at my hair and scream and get very... depressed/angry. I'm not sure if I was trying to be a 'tortured artist', but it felt like it sometimes. In recent years, though, if the story is not coming - I walk away from it and I've found that that is the best thing to do. Just walk away and come back when the urge returns.


4. If you could travel and study the music of any locale(s), where are you going and why?

Places like Brazil or Cuba. Somewhere in South America or upon a warm island. I've always been drawn to Latin music - it is a sound out of another time and is separate from the 'modern' world in a lot of ways, very instinctual and raw. But my interest does not really go toward Mexico, so go figure [lol].


5. What animal do you most associate yourself with?

Hmm. Part of me goes with a dog - because they are loyal to a fault (and I am quite like that) and have played a huge role in my life (especially my childhood). But then my Leo-side kicks in and pleads the case for a lion - larger than life and king of the jungle and such.
Maybe a hybrid? ;)

And now life is proceeding. Buckle up. The flight is about to begin. ;D





Thank you, Tom! Seriously bad-ass...

From the most awesome erinmar13



1. what is your absolute favorite scene in any book? and what about makes it your fave?

Hmmm. There are certain moments (and in many books) that have stood out when I read them and made an impact... but most of them have slipped away from my memories. So, for today, I am going to give you two scenes that I can recall.
One is from Dream Boy by Jim Grimsley, almost right at the end, between Nathan and Roy - Roy is coming out of church and Nathan is seeing him (I won't go into great detail), but there is something achingly moving about how he views this other boy and what occurs when Roy actually sees Nathan. Just very moving all the way around.
And the other scene is from The Silk Road by Jane Summer. And it is hard to pick a singular scene from that book, 'coz I love the whole thing so much. But, for today, I will pick... the first time Paige and Fiona have sexual contact with one another. It is brief, but descriptive - and not in a flowery way. It feels very real, very honest.


2. what do you love about music, how does it move you?

I love everything about music, without a shadow of a doubt. It moves me in ways nothing else can or has or will. I get giddy, I get sad, I get angry, I get introspective. I want to dance, I want to daydream, I want to create. I dissect and I analyze lyrics, I pick out the instruments used and then mesh them back together - to see the individual and then to see the whole picture.
Music is my life, plain and simple. And my soundtrack only gets bigger with each day I am alive.


3. what's your favorite place to go to take photographs?

There are so many good places for that around here. The Blue Ridge Parkway is the best, though. Miles and miles of road and woods and brilliant overlooks.


4. what is it specifically about xena and gabrielle's relationship that captures you?

That their love for each other it is so over-whelming, so all-consuming. Perhaps it is that dramatic side of me coming out, but I love that kind of thing [lol]. They can be accepting and caring and their love for one another changes them in so many good ways - but it can also be a demanding love; a fitful and obsessive and jealous love... and I really like the fact that they are all these things with each other, all rolled into one.


5. what constellation is your favorite, what about it speaks to you?

I really do not know. I used to study the stars so much as a child, was convinced I should be an astronomer. But the information has left with the years - not the love, mind you - just the information [lol].
But I've been hearing a lot about Leo lately on StarDate... and since I am a Leo... that is what I will go with as my favorite.
And I guess it speaks to me because of the zodiac connections. I feel like it is a part of me up in the skies and that is a cool idea to me.

Or something like that. But who cares! I have found the coolest place ever and now I kind of want to live in New York. :D

The ARChive of Contemporary Music. GUH. Just... GUH. And as if this isn't awesome enough, check that name at the top of Board Of Advisors.

:D

Lovely questions from the lovely still_nina


1) If you had to teach a course about contemporary music, who would you include and why?

Oh wow. What a great question... and one that has so many answers [lol]. But first we must define the term 'contemporary' music - which can differ within genres as far as timelines.
But the general consensus is from 1950 and onward, so that is the one I shall follow.
I'd have to cover every angle - to satisfy myself and to offer the those who come to the course the most broad scope... It would cover the rise and fall and rebirth of 'rock' music (from something derived of the blues and from 'hillbilly' music to what it has become - less traditional, more marketed... and all the sub-genres as well - the break down of the largest genre, both good and bad), with people such as Buddy Holly, Elvis, The Beatles, Hank Williams, Sr.; Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters and so forth and so on. It would probably take up all the time I would have [lol].
But I would cover the growth of jazz (from be-bop to west coast to fusion, Cab Calloway to Wes Montgomery to Miles Davies), the rise of new-age/ambient music (from Brian Eno opening the field in the '70's to what it is today), the shift of country from a roots kind of music to the pop/rock mesh it is now (Grand Ole Opry to CMT...lol).
Forget taking up all the time of the course, it would take up the rest of my life. ;)


2) You get to invent a holiday. What would you celebrate? And how?

It's probably already out there somewhere, but World-wide Meditation Day. And by taking an hour, several hours, the whole day even to meditate and center oneself and just be.


3) Is the glass half-full, half empty, twice as big as it needs to be or just full enough to drown yourself?

The glass is exactly what it needs to be in the moment, which means it is all of these things and more. ;)


4) Would you rather be the president, an author or a magician?

Well, the first and last deal in illusions - so I'll take on author. Besides, I always fancied myself one anyway. I love to write. :)


5) You can only write for one fandom for the rest of your life. Which would you chose? And why?

While that is a hard one to answer, because I like change... if I really had to choose... I'd have to go with Xena Warrior Princess. It is the core relationship of Xena/Gabrielle (and all the ways it evolved and grew) that hold my interest and has for years upon years.

And I mean that in the best possible way.

( Heroes talk )



Got a headache. And it is from thinking too much about something I have to do that is making me nervous. Le sigh.
Listening to some extremely awesome techno/trance.
iTunes is being the biggest bitch EVER.

And so life goes on and on. Hope all of you are well! <3

Like I said, this is my jam. Years have gone by and not a sight of this song anywhere - now it is on YouTube AND the cd is being re-issued. YES.


And of course, embedding disabled... but whatever. You might has well look closely and see the string attached at her hip that leads all the way to my clit.

Questions from the most awesome _slutknot_! :D



1. What is your most embarrassing High School memory?

Oh man. I guess the most would be the time that I slid across half the basketball court - because I tripped over my own feet. It was in front of most of the school. I walked it off outwardly, but I was completely mortified [lol].


2. What is your most played CD?

I'm going to not include mixes (which are probably my most played cds, technically), so... hmmmm... at this point it is probably Neko Case's Fox Confessor Brings the Flood.
Damn good shit.


3. What is your guilty pleasure pairing?

I do not feel guilty about it, though! [lol] But I love Gabrielle/Aphrodite, BIG TIME. I wish there were tons of fics that wrote that pairing - and make Xena suffer a bit, too. Heh.


4. What are the top 5 fandom characters in your spank-bank?

Gabrielle [XWP, of course], Natalia Rivera, Spencer Carlin, Brunhilda [The Valkyrie Trilogy chick] and Alex Cabot


5. What movie/tv show do you quote most?

Either Star Wars or It's A Wonderful Life.





And yes, we have entrapped ourselves in a never-ending meme! :D

Oh wow, I love '7 Days' so hard. It is my jam.

Someone, anyone, get me this for Christmas???? This thing is hard to find - and hard to find this cheap. I can't do it now... or I would.

So, any takers? lol


;D



YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES.

http://asknicola.blogspot.com/2009/11/ambition.html


While I am putting my feet forward and to the way I want to change the world through music (whether it be DJ only or a multitude of things involved with music), I'll always have a bit of the writer in me - this need to express things/thoughts/ideals with the written word.
Perhaps the two shall collide and merge? I do not know, not right now.

But Nicola Griffith truly makes one believe that a good book can shift the very fabric of life.
As do I. As does so many forms of art.

Just makes my heart sing. :)

Questions from triggerhappy this time. :D


1) What thing (book, movie, toy, song etc.) takes you back to childhood?

Hmmm. The film The Goonies, which I still love. And own [lol]. It reminds me of many a night spent, as a child, dreaming of having my own adventure like that and finding treasure and wild stuff happening. I wanted that childhood... minus the threat of having to lose my house. Heh.


2) What was the first movie you remember watching in a theater?

For some reason, the first I remember seeing is Big... even though that was not the first film I had seen at a movie theater. How odd.


3) Favorite childhood toy?

Okay, this is a double-ish answer... because while Hobbes (my tiger) is a stuffed animal and I did run him up & down hallways - I never quite considered him a 'toy'. Now, to me, 'toy' is something I can do anything to and have little regard for... so... that would have been my Knight Rider car, that had this indention on the hood - which is where you would put the ball section of this stick and back it up and send it flying down a road. Or, in my case, off the front porch steps and airborne. :D


4) What song or singer is a guilty pleasure?

Anything typically pop/Top 40 - not sure *why* that is a guilty pleasure to me. Guess because I normally listen to mostly 'indie' stuff or jazz or new age. So, like, Britney Spears or Mandy Moore is usually something I keep secret [lol]. Until now.


5) Gonna steal your question: What was it about Otalia for you?

I was sitting here, going through stuff in my head and trying to remember what got me interested. Because I knew about the storyline before I got into it... hmm, it won't come to me. But anyway - the two actresses actually had chemistry. It wasn't a fluke or some 'let's titillate and not really tell a story' thing. It didn't seem as ridiculously angst-filled like AMC's Bianca (who I love, don't get me wrong!) - it seemed real and their chemistry seemed real (and multi-faceted). And Jessica Leccia is hot. Like so insanely hot that I've had dreams about her. And Crystal Chappell has such great line delivery. They just really worked as a couple and I believed it. So, I got interested. ;)

I envy those
who live in two places:
New York, say, and London,
Wales and Spain;
L.A. and Paris;
Hawaii and Switzerland.

There is always the anticipation
of the change, the chance that what is wrong
is the result of where you are. I have
always loved both the freshness of
arriving and the relief of leaving. With
two homes every move would be a homecoming.
I am not even considering the weather, hot
or cold, dry or wet: I am talking about hope.

Where We Are by Gerald Locklin


And so it fits in with the lessons and the learning of the past two days.

On the way home I saw several things, all of them good (a shooting star, an alive and well skunk, clear and speckled skies...), and this is one thing I saw tonight. Just the one, but oh yes... there were several of us there, watching it move around and go nowhere.

Thanks to the lovely rowan_d, I've got questions to answer... :)

Rules if you want to join the awesomeness:

Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile."
I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity.
Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.





1. What does it feel like to stand close to Xena, have her arms around you? How does her skin feel, what's the texture of her hair, how does she smell, what does she do to your skin?

Hehe. Is this just a way to get me to write some Xena? ;P
Okay. Here it goes: It depends. And that is the simple version. Because if Xena is plagued by the nightmares or if those terrible visions come back to life suddenly (a burned town, a lost soul) - then standing next to her is like being too close to the end of something... the edge of something, fine and deadly - a raw wound, weeping and red. But if you are lucky enough to stand next to Xena when she is in good humor, when the days are bright and the demons at bay - then there is no sun warmer. She will smile at you and slide her arm about your shoulders and you feel like the center of the world - you are the axis on which she spins and spins and it can make you drunk with joy. On those good days, her skin is soft and malleable - almost as worn as the leather she wears, but softer still. It expands with each breath she takes and her body envelopes you more and you lose sight of where she is touching you and where your own flesh begins. And there she is, Xena - a dangerous warrior, a formidable opponent on those endless battlefields - with her long hair tickling your face... black as a raven's wing, a silken wave covering your eyes and her hold on your tighter (like a lover, like your very best friend) and you inhale - you catch her all around you now, leather and the tang of brass and something that cannot be described... is it a hint of all the seas she has sailed lingering in her locks? Is it the scent of fire, the ones she has caused and the ones she has put out, along her body? Is it the dirt she has laid upon or the rocks she has traversed, is it every passion she has ever felt... is it just the essence of her life that carries over the air and invades your senses, forcing your to lean heavier into her arms?
Yes. It is that and so much more. And if you are lucky enough to be this close to Xena, if she actually lets you in that far... you feel like you've finally dug your way out of the frozen wasteland and are living again. From your head to your toes, you feel like no God and no Goddess ever could - you feel real again.

...How was that? [lol] I hope I did what you wanted.


2. What book or books inspired you the most as a writer?

It's funny, because I - at first - thought it would be several. But in really thinking about myself as a writer and my development as a writer, the only book that stands out in my head is The Silk Road by Jane Summer.
It showed me how to be subtle and how to break rules and how to keep characters... I don't even know how to explain it... to keep them layered and to keep them 'human' as well.
And it taught me the love of endings that are not happy but not sad either - the joys of a 'real' ending, one that is multi-faceted.


3. If I asked you to choose three songs that if I listened to them might bring me some essence of you in the music or lyrics, which three songs would you choose?

Rebel, Rebel by David Bowie - My love for this man is so great that I have a hard time expressing it to other people. And this song is everything that I am, everything I wanted to be (but was afraid to reveal, once upon a time) and everything I believe in. It is reckless - but not harmful to anyone - it is about changing the rules within yourself and blurring the lines of gender... and that has been my life. It is my life and will be - in one way or another - until the day I die.

Deep Red Bells by Neko Case - I love people and I like interacting with others more so now than ever, but there is this part of me that just feels like leaving everyone and everything behind. And it's been there for so long that I have accepted that it is a part of me that will not be denied - just tempered. And it sounds like this... a long road, a mournful thing - full of dust and painted skies and echoes and heavy with wanderlust.
The moment I heard this song, I knew I had found a siren that understood what it meant to travel darker paths and maybe never come back.

Blue Train by John Coltrane - It was always a funny thing - to me - to be this little white girl in a town full of white people, in the rural sticks of western North Carolina, and find myself completely entranced by jazz. It called up something in me - sometimes I claim it to be my father-molded side, since it is he who shared it - but I've never been the same since the day I heard this particular tune.
I have this deep love for this music, the way it wraps around me and the way it tells a story and how it can be as melodious (or as abstract) as art. And this was the song that did it - in just one second of those opening notes - and I was hooked. You know, in typing this... I realize that jazz is how I think - linear and discordant all at once, free-form. Wow. Nice revelation there. ;)


4. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child (or now LOL)? Name and species?:)

Oh, that's easy. And he is still around, watching over some of my DVD's. His name is Hobbes (yep, like the comic) and he is a tiger. :D


5. And then I'll give you one I already gave out but love to hear replies to: Tell me about a moment in your life that sparkled. One of those rare we-only-get-a-handful-in-a-lifetime moments that seemed larger than life, not possible to be happening to you. Extraordinary enough you wish you could capture it in a Tok'ra crystal. (it needn't look impressive to other people, only feel that way to you)

I was trying to think on some moments that seemed 'deep' [lol], but then I reminded myself of the last bit of this question... and so if we are talking the ultimate moment, the one that I could relive and never tire of, the one that left me with no need for food or water or comfort (because I was *that* happy and out-of-my-mind with rapture)... it is simple: seeing David Bowie live, not more than twenty-five feet away from me. It was 90 degrees at night, Atlanta in August, and I didn't care. I didn't feel anything other than overwhelming bliss at seeing him on stage and hearing him sing. And the one second where he squinted his eyes toward myself and some other woman - where we were both flailing our arms to get his attention - and then he waved at us with a little grin... I could have died then and been perfectly content.

So, I've been trying to find 'Utopia' by Quiet Village for months now and no luck to be had unless I bought their entire album - which I didn't really want to do.

And then some awesome person on iTunes let us all in on something - 'Utopia' is basically a song by Andreas Vollenweider (called 'Steam Forest') and that song can be found easily... and it is the song! Not really any differences at all (maybe some more upbeat moments than the Quiet Village version, but not by much) - so yay! Am very pleased to have gotten this. :D

My joy is so easy to find.



And have you heard about the film that is shooting now called The Black Swan? I am sure some of you have. For those who have not, really all you need to know are these things:

-Natalie Portman
-Mila Kunis
-Ballet
-Hot and angry sex
-Mind-fucking

Got it? Sounds like a winner to me [lol].



Besides Vincent & Gene, here is my dream couple. ;D



It's getting there now. I'd say about 80% sure I am going to Charlotte for a day. As in Saturday. Still have not heard from Lynn, but I know Shawna is eager to go.
Wrote on Redemption and, oddly enough, want to write on it again. Am I coming down with something? [lol]


Oh. And fuck you, Maine.

http://www.leewind.org/2007/12/woman-chief-of-crows-famous-lesbian.html

That is just cool. I love this guy's blog. :)


Today:

-After one o'clock, I was useless. Heh.
-Worked on Lopay.
-Got paid.
-Have written four drabbles for the porn battle.

In general:

-Yes... I know... I need to write on Redemption. Just can't find the right groove for the next chapter. It is eluding me.
-Am I going to Charlotte this weekend? Still not sure.


I am so tired tonight. My eyelids feel like they weigh a billion pounds.

Hope all of you are good and well and such! :)

Drums and horns and synth-beats - just like any other song from the eighties - but it is infectious in its happiness. And maybe you are like myself, recalling your days back in 1986... watching MTV as three British people run around a fashion studio - with black and white, with bright colors, with wild outfits and a female singer with one serious bob haircut... and yet, even in North Carolina - or anywhere else - it looks like they are having the best time.
And you want to be a part of it.
Then it is 2008 and you've not heard that song in so long - but when you do, you just can't help but feel giddy and dream in technicolor. You just want to, literally, 'breakout'.


some people stop at nothing...
if you're searching for something...
lay down the law
shout out for more
breakout and shout, day in day out
...breakout...

-Breakout, Swing Out Sister


I'd forgo the bumblebee-like outfit, but the rest is doable.